“I saw this girl at the station yesterday, but I didn’t open because I wasn’t sarging”

This is what one of my students said to me the other week. I’ve noticed that it’s a common thread of “gamers” and “PUAs” that they have to be “gaming” to “open”.

The rest of the world calls it “living” and “talking to girls”. However, the rest of the world has not developed their cajones enough to be “talking to girls” in “life”. I’ve seen a few posts on here that say “fuck this daygame shit, I open in shops and train stations.” How is that not daygame? Who exactly said it has to be on the street? This statement only demonstrates that you’ve brought into another bullshit belief. Congratulations.

We are here, all of us, hopefully to break down bullshit beliefs that we have grown up with and are held by society. The idea that daygame is just for the streets is just another bullshit belief. I’ve always said that daygame is what you make it – you can “daygame” in coffee shops, at work, at uni, at the gym, in cafes, in clothes shops (thank you, TopShop!) at your bridge club, at the races, in your crack dens and yes, even in nightclubs. Or you can just do it schlepping around the streets for hours at a time you designate as “sarging”.

I’ve always been wary of this language “daygaming”, “gaming”, “sarging”, “negging”, “DHVing”, “disqualifying”, “qualifying”, “opening”, “target”, “gaydame” etc. and for a very simple reason: they all turn natural processes into concepts. And you know what happens to natural processes when you conceptualize them? Yep – conceptualizing happens in the mind. And where is attracting the opposite sex the least effective? In the mind. This is why some people struggle at game. They’re bad with women because they’re in their mind, so they learn a load of new mental concepts to fix it, even though thinking is the problem in the first place. Problems of the mind cannot be fixed on the level of the mind.

There is a much better word for “daygaming”. It’s called “life”, and it’s to be lived. I actually enjoy going out on the streets, it’s like walking around a big sweet shop and choosing out my favourite candy, and then talking to that candy and developing rapport with it (here’s where the analogy fails). If I didn’t enjoy it, I wouldn’t do it. I also do it because it trains me to keep my eyes open and look around at all times, so I can take in the world, be present, and spot that girl at any time – when I’m watching a game of hockey, taking a tour of an ice-cream factory or in a drugs-bust ride along with the S019 squad. Or when I’m at the mall.

So, you see, the goal of daygame is the end of daygame. Once you integrate this into your life, you don’t need to “sarge” or “game”, you just live. “Daygame” just happens to be a good place to practice this new way of living before you unleash it on your whole life. It’s like a school, except it’s a good and fun school where you actually learn something useful.

Take THAT, Michael Gove.