Star Wars and Daygame

I’m amazed at how often, during teaching, I think about and quote from Star Wars. It might be that I watched these films 800 million times as a kid, and they are therefore my only reference point. Still, here’s how they apply…

The ultimate daygamer


“All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph.” ~Yoda

One of the main tenants of daygame, and a barrier to approaching. It’s the root of approach anxiety – the mind is worried about the outcome of the set – rehearsing failure before it’s even happened. Daygame is mastered in the present and only in the present – through feeling, not thinking. Most discover this by accident – they have a really good set for some reason, and they don’t know why. This is why. There are many techniques for grounding yourself into the present – feeling into your body, your hands, your feet, your breath. But the more approaches you make the more naturally you will reside in the present. 2.

“Already know you, that which you need.” ~Yoda

You are a man – a biological organism. You have millions of years of evolution behind you – a successful, unbroken chain of success from 4 billion years ago to today. Your lineage has overcome desolation, catastrophe, apocalypse, mass-extinction to be refined into your current form. You know how to attract women. You are already attractive. So what’s the problem? Quote 3 please, Yoda. 3.

“You must unlearn what you have learned.” ~Yoda What do you need to unlearn? Bullshit. Most of us in the “civilised world” have had our masculine (and feminine), natural cores coated in bullshit. Bullshit self-images we constructed to please our parents, family, teachers, friends, peers, bosses. We end up in a world where it is more acceptable to objectify women with a slide of the finger on Tinder than meet and attract one in real life. I call bullshit. Where meeting in a meat market and plying ourselves with liquid depressants to try and copulate with a fake, painted, masked parody of a woman (not her fault, it’s what everyone does) is acceptable, whereas meeting real women in real life with the same (but sober) sexual intent is unacceptable. I call bullshit. As a society we frequently equate the most natural way of doing things as the strangest. We don’t like to believe that we shit and piss, that we masturbate, that we sometimes do “shameful” things, even though we all know everyone else does it. “You can’t tell a woman she looks sexy”, “You can’t tell your teacher he’s talking out of his arse”, “You can’t question the status quo”, “You can’t approach a women you find attractive.” Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Schools teaching us bullshit, religion teaching us bullshit, society teaching us bullshit, all slowly building up layers of bullshit clouds around our dazzling, natural suns. Daygame is a method (along with meditation and travel and art and music and whatever else) of growing out of our adolescent bullshit, reconnecting with our selves before the bullshit, our beings. The more you “unlearn what you have learned”, the better you get and the easier this whole thing becomes. 4.

The Andy Yosha of the Jedi

“Use the force, Luke, let go.” ~Obi Wan Kenobi

This is the bit of you that says “fuck it”. This is when you learn to trust yourself. You trust that you will know what to do because you are not thinking. Open the hatch of the plane and jump out. Trust that the parachute will open. Open yourself to the world and say “here I am”. This is the way you throw yourself into sets. Some students remark that I’m an “opening machine.” It’s actually the opposite. The mind is the machine with all its analysing, labeling and judging. The guy who thinks his way out of approaching is the machine. I’m just human. I let go of the mind, I use the force. The force within all of us. It’s the force that enables all of us to be – the life force, energy, being. These are not bullshit things – your existence is the proof. 5.

“Luke: I don’t, I don’t believe it. Yoda: That is why you fail.” This is as equally true of doing an approach as of pulling an x-Wing out of a swamp with your mind-waves. You commit yourself to a set, and you believe. This is not you telling yourself “I can do it”. That’s just bullshit affirmations. More bullshit. You look inside yourself – deep inside your gut, your balls, and you believe.  You believe without reason (the mind will come up with reasons to fail) but you believe with knowledge – the knowledge that you’ve done it before, and can do it again, despite what your mind says. 6.

“Do or do not… there is no try” ~Yoda

It took me a long time to understand this… Then even longer to “know” it. Trying had always been bigged-up. “If at first you don’t succeed, try again.” “Give it a try!” “The only failure is in not trying.” I was so used to looking at trying like it was a virtue. To get far in daygame, you must arrive at a point where there is no trying. Trying is you conflicting with yourself. When you eventually realise that there is only one of you and this idea of you being in battle with yourself is yet another bullshit smokescreen to hide what you really want, trying disappears. You don’t need to “try” to brush your teeth, you don’t need to “try” to eat dinner or take a piss (unless you have certain medical conditions in both cases), you just do. When you see that you are whole and one, you realise that you either will approach or you won’t – if you do then it’s because you wanted to, if you didn’t it’s because you didn’t. Once you accept this, the internal battle is over, and your energy is replenished, and then some! Seduction becomes effortless because you, the whole, united, singular entity that you are, has one intention, going in one direction. So – for the sake of editorial balance – the last word goes to the Dark Side – Lord Vader?

“There is no conflict.” ~ Sir Lord Darth of Vader

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