“So why didn’t you approach?”

“I didn’t know what opener to use, and even after then I didn’t know the transition. Then I didn’t know when to go for the number close, or what close-gambit to use.”

So I approach my student’s abandoned set instead, with one technique: I have a conversation.

You… idiot

Ever since this guy turned the natural process of seduction into a science, with categories, boxes, terminology and concepts, there having been people like the students above, who think by mastering seduction in their head they can master it in their body, and expect to approach with a mental checklist to go through. Epic fail.

In reality this is hard work, and boring work. It results in people who would rather abort an approach and cling onto the structure rather than drop the structure and do something mankind has been doing since we first developed speech: have a fucking conversation! People who operate from their mind where their mind is not welcome are boring. They’d rather not approach, go home, and study the system for an answer as to why they didn’t approach. Meanwhile someone who couldn’t give two shits about the system is busy having great interactions with women, and learning a hell of a lot more than “system-guy”. It’s ironic that people claim to overcome “limiting beliefs” in society’s “rules” and then doggedly cling to a new set of rules, created by one man, in the face of reality.

This is my problem with the whole “game” thing. It fails like religion fails: trying to conceptualise the non-conceptual, and in the case of game, clumsily force a structure onto a natural process. I’m not saying that structures aren’t useful – but the analytical mind is only of use after the event, because it relies on the past to do any useful work. Approaching is not practiced in the past, it’s practiced in the present. You cannot think about the present, it’s just not possible. The mind needs past and future. So sure, analyse your sets if you want to – after the event. But when you go in – if you’re not sure what to do, do something you’ve (hopefully) got a lifetime of experience doing:

Have a fucking conversation!

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