I was reading Derren Brown’s “Tricks of the Mind” and the section on hypnotism. A quotation:
you can start to realize that in fact you are only guiding your subjects down an easy path to what you want them to experience. You are not making them do anything. Think of it like a seduction.
A seduction. Even though the Mystery Manipulation Method is becoming more old hat these days, you still get current “natural game” proponents talking about “building attraction”, as if you can create it and chuck it in the face of the other person.
I think this is another unhealthy way to think about things, because it implies that you are not attractive and you have to make some kind of artificial substitute. I think the language is all wrong in this regard and it holds people back.
Attraction is in the push.
This kind of commandment makes it sound like teasing someone will create attraction, as if the teasing is the attraction. This is mental – equating one concept to another concept and totally ignoring the only actually real thing in the whole equation: you.
It’s not about “building or “creating” attraction. It’s just about uncovering it.
The push helps to uncover the attraction in you
A lot of guys think they can “build” attraction and “become more attractive” but after four years of observing myself and my wings, plus dozens of students, I see now that this is a red-herring and an important distinction.
It comes back to my belief that we are biological animals who will be attracted to each other as nature intended. Therefore, guys, you are already attractive. The problem is that in this society and through our upbringing we become so outlandishly coated in utter bullshit, we just can’t see the attractive person underneath any more. “Confidence” means showing yourself. Once you get to that point where the way you are received and perceived by others doesn’t matter, you are attractive, and you are yourself. The two go hand in hand.
Now, going back to hypnosis, it is indeed possible to manipulate someone into being aroused in your presence, and therefore she may well end up having sex with you… Except it won’t be you, and don’t expect to feel any connection with her. You’ll basically be wanking into a human, which is all very well, but if you think that’s great… well, you’re missing out. There are many ways to manipulate people – the Ross Jeffries school of pacing and leading, inputting ideas of arousal on a conscious and subconscious level, manipulating her insecurities and fears, playing on her father issues, cold-reading etc. etc. and in a sense her willingness (there is willingness here, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise) to let you do this could be seen as a seduction, but it’s two people playing pretend so they can rub uglies. What’s wrong with this? Nothing at all. And what’s wrong with reading a comic book? Nothing. But why bother when you’ve got a home 3D cinema set up?
People always bang on about “results” in this game. But there’s something much more important than results – experience – the only thing that really matters. Subjectivity beats objectivity, when you’re looking through your own eyes (as we all are, right?). If “great” results end in you feeling like shit, are they worth having? This is why I say to students, better to be in touch with your being and have a hundred blow-outs than one close where you are putting on a mask, achieving a hollow “victory”.
Once you get to know who you are, and put yourself out there, you find that it’s not about making girls attracted to you, it’s about allowing them to be.
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One thought on “Allowing, not forcing”
Another excellent post.