Thought corrupts language, language corrupts thought.
Clever man, that George Orwell. This is very true, and politicians and leaders have been riding on it for as long as they’ve been visible. With phrases like “friendly fire” (shooting your own side), “austerity measures” (we’ll cut whatever we want) and “axis of evil” (we’re the good ones) to look at the iceberg, language affects how we think and act.
Let’s bring this to daygame. I recently wrote a nonsense post about the numbering system of female attractiveness, but behind the frivolity there is something to say here.
I often do approach coaching on the Saturday sarge in central London – it’s my way of putting a bit back. Frequently I hear guys using this language:
“I try to sarge a couple of times a week, and open at least 10 sets.”
What is the effect of talking like this? Well as it turns out it’s significant. I’ve noticed repeatedly that those who use this language are the least able to go out on their own and the least able to integrate daygame into their lives. Because they still see it as an event or sport, rather than another aspect of life. With this language, daygame becomes a sport or hobby – you collect numbers as if they are points, women as if they are goals and you lose sight of the most important bit – you. The irony is that becoming “natural” has become an artificial process. “I want to develop a natural style” is a common phrase heard, suggesting that nature is something you learn.
This results in behaviour which is incongruent with the actual life of the “PUA”, so when that person sees an attractive girl when he isn’t “sarging”, he doesn’t approach. The rationalisation? “I’m not ‘in state'”. “I’m not sarging”.
Many motivational gurus have noted the helpfulness of choosing your language. This has become tiresome in the case of the office manager who uses watered-down allusions such as “we have a challenge”, rather than “problem”. But despite this, more positive language can be seen to have a positive impact on how we view what we are doing.
So personally, I try to avoid the language “sarge”, “set”, “in state/out state”, “game”, “daygame”, “neg”, “DHV”, “DLV”, “generate attraction”, or any other language which deviates from the language I normally use. In other words: Jargon. Using game jargon is like putting up a mental barrier between approaching and attracting a girl and living your everyday life. But approaching and attracting a girl is just part of your everyday life, and the more you see that the less of a big deal it becomes and the greater the success you enjoy.
So instead of going sarging, opening sets, negging and achieving state, why not just go out, chat to some girls, flirt and have fun.
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