What goes up quickly comes down quickly

“You can learn to approach and attract the girl of your dreams in one day!”

The companies do give it a lot of that, don’t they? The spiel.

I’m an ABRSM Diploma pianist. That means I have a high level of playing the piano. Now, how do you think I achieved this? Here are three options:

1. I went on a 1 week piano bootcamp: 84 hours of straight piano lesson and paid a huge, one off sum of money.
2. I just sat at the piano with a book and taught myself, not that I had any experience.
3. I took weekly lessons, with regular practice focusing on the areas needed for development based on the feedback of my teacher, and I paid per lesson.

I’ll spoil it for you. The answer is 3. Why is this better? Because between lessons, you have the time to internalise, refine, practice, and come to the next lesson a little bit better. Between one hour and the next hour on a boot camp, there is no time to internalise anything, or learn anything. It takes time to learn. It doesn’t matter how much money you pay, money will not internalise what you need, money will not develop your skill, and money is not a shortcut.

This is why I don’t do boot camps. What goes up quickly, comes down quickly. Students of mine who have gone on boot camps say the same – it was an amazing experience, they learned a lot, they felt on a high, like they had the world at their fingertips…. then a couple of days later it all faded away and the boot camp was a distant memory. Now they need another boot camp costing another fuck load of money. What a waste.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Here’s a graph to visualize the difference between the learning approaches:

See, with the boot camp you get an initial enormous spike – adrenaline, seeing the possibilities, and some amazing results. But someone who takes a boot camp and then thinks that will solve everything is in for a bitter downward disappointment. Without the instructors and fellow students there to hold your hand, you’ll go out again and find yourself… NOT APPROACHING! Someone on the other hand who doesn’t do a boot camp but practices regularly will get better, but without experienced feedback it will take them much longer to get anywhere as they repeat the same mistakes, and it takes longer to correct them on your own.

But, with regular coaching, the teacher will spot what you are doing wrong, correct it, and then leave you to practice it for a few days or week. Working and singling out each skill that needs developing bit by bit, there’s a spike every week as you have a lesson, and because these spikes are regular there’s always an upward trend, even if there are off days (and there will be, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise).

Now what you could do is a boot camp every weekend, and you will probably get good quite quickly – but who has that kind of money? And once you’re not doing boot camps any more, what then? You lose your crutch, unless you’re the kind of person dedicated to the practice.

This is why I offer long-term development – weekly lessons to develop your skill set and get you to open yourself up to strangers. There’s a reason why everything else is taught in this way – it’s because it works. Athletes, musicians, architects, artists, and almost every skill set is learned in this way – daygame is no exception.

In training with me, although I will work on many practical aspects of cold-approaching, my main goal is not to teach you some gamey tricks – I’m here to bring out the best of you. That’s where the gold lies. That’s where the alchemy is.

Drop me an email: phil@gaydame.com


You get a first taster session free!

one-off lessons: £50 (2 hours £80, 3 hours £100 or you can have me the whole day for £200)

5 hour lessons over 5 weeks (can be flexible) £200

10 hour lessons over 10 weeks (also flexible) £400 – much better use of money than blowing it on one boot camp

See my coaching page

See reviews from other students

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